It's been an odder-than-normal week in the music press, so we've picked out a few of the stories that have had us rolling around TG Towers searching for the Kleenex....
Massive Jacko Robot Hotel Planned
Plans are accordingly afoot to build a futuristic hotel and casino in Las Vegas that would be patrolled by a giant Michael Jackson robot.
In 2007 the late King Of Pop commissioned a 50ft robotic him to roam the desert outside Las Vegas as a moving advert for a live residency he was planning in the city.
When the shows were scrapped Jacko's team started designing a hotel/casino that would be guarded by... said robot.
HERE'S what it may look like.
Spector: "Prison Is Sh*t"
Music producer Phil Spector fears for his safety in prison because of all the "lowlife scumbags, gangsters and Manson types" with whom he is now sharing his time. Perhaps if he got to know them better...?
Filthy Habit Does For Cradle Man
Cradle Of Filth had to cut short their set at Saturday's Bloodstock Festival when guitarist Paul Allender was knocked unconscious by... a giant gobstopper thrown from the crowd.
Weller And Children Destitute And Starving On Streets
Paul Weller could be reforming The Jam according to rumours, as he has finally buried the hatchet with bassist Bruce Foxton.
After years of not speaking, Weller has reportedly asked Foxton to join him in the studio to "work on some ideas".
Weller's last words on a possible Jam reunion in 2006 were: "Me and my children would have to be destitute and starving in the gutter before I'd even consider that."
Bono/Edge Incredibly Bored
They don't need the cash as they've just embarked on probably the biggest world tour of all time, so what other reason could Bono and The Edge have for composing a load of tunes foor the upcoming Spiderman musical?
Clearly they are jealous of bandmates Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen's attempt to soundtrack a sh*t Batman film in the 90s.
"It touches on opera, it touches on rock 'n' roll. There are some real character driven songs as well, very unusual song types for us," said The Edge, before adding, not at all prophetically, "Most musicals are really pants."
“Maybe I’m writing a song and it doesn’t follow the exact rules of songwriting. Or maybe this word doesn’t make sense next to this one, but that’s how I speak”: Beabadoobee says that “missteps” are more important than perfection in songwriting
“It’s been road-tested, dropped on its head, kicked around, x-rayed, strummed, chicken-picked, and arpeggio swept!” Fender and Chris Shiflett team up for signature Cleaver Telecaster Deluxe
“Maybe I’m writing a song and it doesn’t follow the exact rules of songwriting. Or maybe this word doesn’t make sense next to this one, but that’s how I speak”: Beabadoobee says that “missteps” are more important than perfection in songwriting
“It’s been road-tested, dropped on its head, kicked around, x-rayed, strummed, chicken-picked, and arpeggio swept!” Fender and Chris Shiflett team up for signature Cleaver Telecaster Deluxe
