US phone giant AT&T has released an Olympic Games soundtrack - a bunch of songs with inspiring names like Champion, Perfect and Warrior. We're sure Team USA have been playing it to death in Beijing, especially Sheryl Crow's So Glad We Made It.
Screw that.
We've come up with the 'alternative' selection. The tunes you really shouldn't be listening to while training for, during or after any sporting event. A surprising number of unfortunate-sounding Beatles songs came up - I'm A Loser, If I Fell, I'm Down - but we settled for the one about the large flippered marine mammal. Feel free to add your suggestions below.
The losing soundtrack
1. Beck - Loser
The clue is in the title
2. Green Day - Nice Guys Finish Last
An excuse, if you need one, to be an asshole
3. AC/DC - Breaking The Rules
Who's up for poisoning the Lucozade?
4. Razorlight - Stumble And Fall
This one's for the 400m hurdler
5. Badly Drawn Boy - Pissing In The Wind
Because that's what every other sprinter will be doing until Usain Bolt retires
6. The Beatles - I Am The Walrus
It's a marathon, not a sprint. A walrus would lose both
7. Reverend And The Makers - Heavyweight Champion Of The World
You could have been a contender, but you're not
8. Elvis Costello - I Can't Stand Up For Falling Down
For all those dismounting gymnasts out there…
9. Mudhoney- You Got It (Keep It Outta My Face)
"Oh, what's that? Do I want to see your gold medal? I'd rather poke myself in the eye"
10. Kasabian - Shoot The Runner
Harsh
11. My Chemical Romance - Drowning Lessons
Even harsher
12. Queens Of The Stone Age - Feel Good Hit Of The Summer
"Nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy and alcohol… ste, ste, ste, ste, ste, steroids"
13. British Sea Power - It Ended On An Oily Stage
Slipping over in front of a worldwide television audience - the perfect way to finish last
UPDATE: As previously speculated, it turns out Jimmy Page and Leona Lewis will definitely be performing together at Beijing's closing ceremony this weekend. The duo will perform Whole Lotta Love. It's a shame they're not doing Led Zep's Trampled Under Foot - for the equestrian team, of course.
"Despite recording some truly iconic albums that became a huge part of pop culture history, he always felt like one of us": Five seminal records Steve Albini worked on
"Even if the album only had that one track on, it would still be on this list": Humanist's Rob Marshall on the 9 records that changed his life, supporting Depeche Mode in stadiums, and why he'll never switch to digital amp modelling
