Mike Portnoy is, of course, one of the world’s greatest drummers so having him play on your track would, of course, be a huge deal. Unless, of course, you’re Taylor Swift, an artist that the technically dazzling sticksman has no knowledge or appreciation of.
Nevertheless that’s the intriguing premise for a new video from drum tuition master Drumeo, which invited Portnoy to show his worth on one of Swift’s most famous tracks.
Portnoy appears in the studio with Brandon Toews, Drumeo’s content director, in the control room. Keen to allow Dream Theater’s backbone to flex his creative muscle, Toews plays the legend the lead vocal and BVs of Swift’s Shake It Off, the lead single from the star’s multi-platinum 1989 album.
However, things do not go as planned and Toews is - doubtless along with anyone watching - surprised to find that Portnoy is completely nonplussed by what he’s listening to.
Portnoy's Complaint…
“I don’t know this,” confesses Portnoy. “You don’t… You don’t know this?” stammers a disbelieving Toews, before Portnoy, like a guest in an altogether hairier episode of ‘Kids React To…’ begins to interpret what he’s hearing in an unusual and entertaining way…
And it’s pure gold.
After analysing the track for mere moments Portnoy’s keen ear and mind pick out its rhythm and he begins enthusiastically jamming along with a breakneck calypso shuffle beat that, while the perfect accompaniment to the song, is pretty much as far from what anyone familiar with Swift’s track could possibly have ever imagined.
Fortunately, Portnoy quickly gets further into the groove and, via trademark cymbal and tom work, injects the track with a frenetic new feel that’s all his own. Repeatedly tempted by shuffling sidesticking, Portnoy steps through all his gears, magically sensing the song’s chorus and heralding its arrival with a prog rock tom flourish that’s as brilliant as it is inappropriate.
Best of all, both he and Toews (and laughing engineer in the background) are all smiles throughout, and clearly having a blast - especially in the track’s breakdown when Swift announces the arrival of “this… sick… beat…” and Dream Theater’s sticksman instead uncages a sidestick paradiddle with all the power of George Formby’s washboard.
Picking out time signatures that untrained brains would never have spotted and even dialling in a half-time dubstep groove at one point, he brings the track to a crashing conclusion with a single plaintive tap of a tiny china cymbal.
“What the hell was that?” questions Portnoy, again stressing his non compliance. “Mike, you actually don’t know what that was?” reaffirms a baffled Toews. “Sounds like something out of Disneyland in Japan,” confirms Portnoy.
“Is that something that’s popular?” probes Portnoy.
“That song has 3.3 billion views,” informs Toews. Ouch.
Fortunately, later takes are much improved. While still injecting embellishment where no-one expects or wants it, Portnoy plays a blinder, even keeping time through the track’s ‘sick beat’ “talking solo”, inexplicably emerging perfectly on time on the other side. But by now the game is up.
“Who is it? What is it?” demands Portnoy.
“That’s Taylor Swift,” informs Toews.
“Oh. My. God. Only the biggest artist on earth!” exclaims Portnoy… “Taylor, I’m really sorry. I would play with you in a heartbeat and I swear I wouldn’t do that… My daughter is going to get a kick out of this. I’m sorry I ruined your song!”
Interestingly while Portnoy has no knowledge of Swift’s biggest global breakthrough hit he IS aware of Toni Basil’s breakout smash Mickey from 1981, a song which, rhythmically at least, Shake It Off owes more than a nod to. Portnoy sings Basil’s classic when finally confronted with Swift’s track in full.
We wonder if Portnoy is familiar with Oukast’s Hey Ya or Mariah Carey’s Oh Santa, both of which he could similarly ruthlessly improve with the same double kick drum embellishments?
Most wonderful of all is the fact that Portnoy himself comes across as an affable, self-deprecating and obviously highly-skilled and genius drummer throughout and is clearly playing up to his role as “a prog metal guy playing odd time signatures”.
“I prefer the Mike Portnoy version,” compliments Toews at the session's conclusion. We’re not sure we feel the same way but next time Portnoy is on the channel we’ll be there with the popcorn.
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