How not to crowd surf: Watch The Dare fail to read the room, take a leap of faith, and wind up the worse for wear

When you go to a gig, always remember that those pesky view-blocking barriers serve a double purpose. First and foremost, of course, they’re there to prevent you, the great unwashed, from mussing up your hero’s quiff. But, never forget, this one works both ways too…

Increasingly it seems, crowd control measures are equally there to prevent over-gassed performers from taking liberties with the estimated combined strength of their audience.

That’s the valuable lesson that The Dare (aka Harrison Patrick Smith) just learnt and which now – thanks to social media – exists as a lesson from history, forever.

Yes, it seems that today’s pop stars are more ready than ever to cross the line and effortfully slide from ‘your place in my heart’, to ‘their arse in your face’ at the drop of an ironic trilby.

Fortunately some audiences are sufficiently smart that when that fourth wall does come a-beckoning and their heroes do have ideas above their fame levels, they’re sufficiently sober and fleet of foot to simply part like the Red Sea and stay out of trouble.

And that’s the altogether smart conclusion that an audience at The Dare’s gig at Bristol’s Marble Factory on 16 March came to in unison, seemingly reading the producer/DJ/vocalist's mind (while apparently busy reading their socials) and thus dodging potential injury to escape with both their dignity and cranial orbits intact.

The Dare? Not so much…

Word has it that the Dare is quite the old pro at this kind of thing, and you’d think that at a lithe 6-feet-1-inch and 9-stone-something (internet guesstimates) he’d be pretty easy to handle.

Indeed, “The Dare crowd surfing just felt like passing around a tv remote” testified one previously attendant wag as evidence.

However it looks like Bristol's youth need to work out (or at least get out) more as they entirely failed to play their part and let the up-and-coming Girls-hitmaker and Charli XCX collaborator down.

Literally.

So the next time we’re banging on about supporting up-and-coming bands, you know what to do.