Boned - Up At The Crack
What makes an album cover bad? Better yet, what makes one truly terrible?
To paraphrase US Justice Potter Stewart musing on what is 'pornography': "I can't tell you what obscenity is, but I know it when I see it."
And MusicRadar knows a bad album cover when it sees one…
Today, MusicRadar kicks off a series called The Worst Album Covers Ever, with our first installment shining a harsh light on the world of heavy metal. The songs may rock, the singers may scream, the solos may impressively shred.
But what the hell is happening with these album covers? Oh, and warning - a few of these verge on the NSFW.
All of them however verge on the terrible…
Cinderella - Night Songs
Death - Leprosy
Battle Axe - Burn This Town
Scorpions - Animal Magnetism
Pantera - Metal Magic
Tankard - The Beauty And The Beer
Krokus - Heart Attack
Manowar - Anthology
Vinnie Vincent Invasion - Vinnie Vincent Invasion
Pat Boone - In A Metal Mood - No More Mr Nice Guy
Whitesnake - Lovehunter
Cattle Decapitation - Humanure
Ron Keel - Ron Keel
Riot - Narita
Kevin DuBrow - In For The Kill
Devourment - Molesting The Decapitated
Wrathchild - Stakk Attakk
Manowar - Blow Your Speakers
Manowar - Fighting The World
Testament - Return To The Apocalyptic City
The Great Kat - Bloody Vivaldi
Panzer - Tierra De Metales
Pantera - Projects In The Jungle
Steelheart - Steelheart
Bonded By Blood - Extinguish The Weak
Metal Skool - Metal Skool
Ratt - Reach For The Sky
Fist - Back With A Vengeance
Anthrax - Fistful of Metal
Manowar - Into Glory Ride
Yngwie J Malmsteen - Trilogy
King Kobra - Thrill Of A Lifetime
High Frequency - Masters Of Madness
Krokus - The Best Of Krokus - Stayed Awake All Night
Randy Coven - Funk Me Tender
Raven - The Pack Is Back
Tommy Lee - Tommyland: The Ride
Autograph - Loud And Clear
Triumph - Allied Forces
Pretty Boy Floyd - Leather Boyz With Electric Toyz
Agressor - Neverending Destiny
Merciless Death - Evil In The Night
Moray Eel - Priest Hunter
King Diamond - Conspiracy
Stryper - Soldiers Under Command
Bolt Thrower - Warmaster
Farscape - Killers On The Loose
Eliminator - Breaking The Wheel
Stryken - First Strike
Fastway - Trick Or Treat
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Joe is a freelance journalist who has, over the past few decades, interviewed hundreds of guitarists for Guitar World, Guitar Player, MusicRadar and Classic Rock. He is also a former editor of Guitar World, contributing writer for Guitar Aficionado and VP of A&R for Island Records. He’s an enthusiastic guitarist, but he’s nowhere near the likes of the people he interviews. Surprisingly, his skills are more suited to the drums. If you need a drummer for your Beatles tribute band, look him up.
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