Heineken Drums
MusicRadar has already brought you the most outrageous guitars on the internet. Well, guess what? There's just as many freaky-deaky drum kits out there, if not more.
Maybe it goes deep into the psyche of the drummer, one who surrounds himself with items with which to hit, beat, bang, smash and crash (and to lovingly tap, we should add). With that in mind, we've plunged into the depths of blogs and forums to find the strangest, the biggest, the most creative, the most 'What the hell were they thinking?' drum kits on the internet.
Some of you might find these kits as true objets d'art; others might find them abhorrent. Just remember: love 'em or hate 'em, you can always just clobber them to death.
First up: the guy who is sure to be the most popular man at your next kegger...
Certain adult beverages inspire creativity. Pictured above is a double bass drum set that's perfect for your next party.
100-gallon-drum-set
Should you find yourself working in a vineyard, consider yourself lucky. And if you happen to be a drummer, you can drink your days away and practice to your heart's content. Here's a set that pairs well with a nice Pinot Noir.
Annoy your mother drums
This fine young gentleman assembled his own homemade kit out of tubs, a kitchen pantry and cake molds. As he says in the YouTube clip, this is how he "wastes his summers."
While he has some decent rudimentary moves, what impresses us most is his mother, visible in the background, cooking dinner and trying to ignore the racket she's been subjected to for months. To all the moms who put up with budding drummers, this one's for you...
Bicycle drum set
UK musician David Osborne pedals his drum set to his favorite locale and plays for tips. It's a novel idea, but we wonder,was Frank Zappa his inspiration? Check out the YouTube clip.
Stinky drums - they're made of cheese!
Dutch artist Walter Willems created this kit for an art exhibit. We're assuming the room was temperature controlled. Here's a video of jazz drummer Han Bennink cutting the cheese, so to speak.
Did somebody sit on this thing?
Actually, they're Trixon drums, and beginning in the late '50s their most recognizable characteristic was the conical shaped bass drum, tapered so that one end was narrower than the other, with the wider side being the 'beater' side - although some drummers used two beaters. Looks like the thing melted, doesn't it?
Square drums
Look at these things. Are they holograms, or what? Actually,Square Drumsare hybrid drums that use speaker box technology to give you up to 30% more airspace - that means more sound and volume. Whether they add character to your music, that's up to you. But you can't deny the fact that they look wicked cool!
Staccato Drums
Originally produced in the mid-'70s and touted as drums that didn't need miking, the horn-shaped Staccacos never really caught on, although it is said that Keith Moon agreed to play them shortly before his death.Staccato Drumsare back in production, but on limited basis.
Speaker drums
Better than a boombox, apparently. Still, we're not sure we get the concept behind these. Aren't drums loud enough by themselves? Why do they need speakers? Oh, well, somebody thought so.
Homemade drums
Here's an awesome drummer playing on the street in Washington, DC. He's working a homemade kit made from buckets and whatnot. Thing is, he's got skills. Get this man a real kit.
Recycled percussion
Josh says he's the 'world's fastest drummer.' Like we haven't heard that one before. Still, he's pretty tight, and if his chops on laundry tubs, buckets and a beer keg are any indication, he must be murder behind a genuine drum set.
Do I pot plants in these?
They look like glass flower pots, but they're Molecules Drums, made of Acrylic and available in numerous sizes and color patterns. Fashion plate Lenny Kravitz just loves his set, don't you know. Want to hear them in action? Visit theMolecules Drums website.
Siamese Monster
Dream Theater's Mike Portnoy likes drums - lots and lots of drums. This Tama kit has an abundance of them, so many, in fact, that Portnoy often asks other drummers to sit in on the unplayed half during shows. That's definitely givin' the drummer some.
Xylophone drum set
This rather inventive fellow combines a wooden xylophone with something approximating a drum set. Pretty smart - see him in action here. What's not smart, however, is playing outside on a windy day.
One weird kit
To tell you the truth, we're not sure what kind of drum kit this is, or how you play it - or how many people it takes to play it. But if you have any bright ideas, tell us, please.
A drum set made of paper
Bonzo could've destroyed this kit just looking at it.
Drum cakes
Pretty sweet, huh? That's because these drums are made for forks and knives, not sticks.
The DrumBike
You ever want to cruise through the park while showing off your tasty single-stroke rolls? (Hey, who doesn't?) Now you can, with the DrumBike! Check it out here.
The Mini Drum Mobile
Worried about making the gig in time? Don't be. This girl can start the show from down the street. And forget about setting up and breaking down. Play, then drive off - what could be better?
Very 'cymbolic'
Ever find that your drums are just too, you know, 'drummy'? One guy found a solution. Cymbals. As in, a lot of them. Which begs the musical question: does he ever just keep a beat?
Computer desk drums
Not really, but theVision One Computer Desk, which the company promises is "the best computer desk system on Earth," is designed to offer "ergonomic comfort and outstanding quality at an affordable price." But at a cost of $1700 (sans monitor and speakers), you'd think they could throw in some sticks.
A couple of show-offs
"My kit's bigger than yours." "Nuh-uh. Look at my awesome tom, man. And I got way more cymbals." "Huh! Too bad you can't play 'em." (pause) "Your mother's so fat..."
Duct tape drums
Tommy worked at the office supplies store and he noticed that the duct tape just wasn't moving. Then it hit him: drums! Even a guitar too. His dog, Sparky, is a huge admirer.
Blinged-out drums
In these trying economic times, the ddrum company knows that every drummer needs a happening rim out front. Check out the 360 spin video.
Potted plant drums
Johnny had to quit the band and get a real job. But he just couldn't bear to get rid of his kit. So he came up with something that his wife just loves. They can even cuddle in front of the TV too.
Ballad-deflecting drums
Want to make sure your band never plays any mushy power ballads? Get an evil-looking set like this one. Then just let 'em try throwing a girlie song into the mix.
For adventurous rack tom players only
Honestly, we have no idea why somebody would set up their toms in this fashion, but we'd love to see a video tutorial.
SpongeBob SquarePants drums
Playing Bikini Bottom soon? You'll need these.
Have a Tama showroom in your den!
Of course they look amazing. But how the heck do you play the toms on the ceiling? Maybe Tommy Lee knows.
Hypnotic drums
We have no idea if this guy is great, good or a mere beginner. But he's sure mastered that 'I have you in my power' thing.
Vic Berton's kit
From the 1920s through the '40s, Vic Berton was considered one of the greatest jazz drummers around. According to legend, he was once busted for smoking marijuana with Louis Armstrong. With a kit like this, who would've guessed him for a pothead?
Junk drums
The Groove Criminal folks assembled this kit from found items: pots and pants, watering cans, buckets, plastic bins, even a lampshade from Ikea. Didn't Fat Albert and his gang rock a set like this one?
Gives new meaning to the term 'flaming'
Gary couldn't understand why, every time he said, "Hey, let's do Fire by Jimi Hendrix!" the guys in his band shook their heads and said, "Nah, too obvious."
The Electronic Drum Kit Shirt!
Can't master a real drum set? Or maybe portability is your thing. Well, the Electronic Drum Kit Shirt might be just for you. Powered by 4 AAA batteries that are held with the speaker in a hidden pocket near the hem, he black shirt costs just $29.99.
Each of the drums pictured produce a different sound. So rock out anytime, anywhere. Just don't get too sweaty. Check out the video here.
North Drums (as if there was any doubt)
Created in 1968, marketed through the ‘70s and discontinued in the early ‘80s, North Drums had a unique, cone-shaped design to project their sound outward. And the company made sure you could see its name even from the back rows. (How many bands were mistakenly referred to as 'North,' or in this case, 'North North,' we'll never know.)
Skeleton drums
Skeleton band, really. Hey, just because you’ve passed on to the other side, there‘s no need to stop rocking. This power trio gives new meaning to the term ‘death metal.’
Octopus drums
Some drummers are so good, it’s been said they play like an octopus. We reckon the same holds true for this creature behind the kit. Of course, we’d love to hear what we does with that bongo, and don't get us started on his ability to predict the results of football matches...
Terry Bozzio's drum set
Yeah, yeah, he’s good. We all know that. OK, he’s great. Fine. But after a certain point, isn’t it all just a wee bit, oh, narcissistic? Discuss amongst yourselves.
Junkyard drums
Can’t afford that bitchin’ Terry Bozzio set? Don’t worry. You can make your own rockin’ kit with found items from the street. We’re betting some heavy grooves have been laid down on this neat little configuration. (Just don’t keep those gas cans filled, whatever you do!)
Vertical drums
OK, we’re still wondering how in the world you handle four bass drums at once. (What would single-bass beater Nicko McBrain have to say about that?) But the biggest conundrum would appear to be playing those rack toms mounted six feet above the kit. Time to call in the services of that octopus!
Hotel drum set
You’ve emptied the mini bar, said “What was your name again, honey?“ to the groupie, the limo is on the way, and the jet is on standby. What now? Simple: arrange some pillows and bone up on your chops. Hey, it’s what got you here in the first place.
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Joe is a freelance journalist who has, over the past few decades, interviewed hundreds of guitarists for Guitar World, Guitar Player, MusicRadar and Classic Rock. He is also a former editor of Guitar World, contributing writer for Guitar Aficionado and VP of A&R for Island Records. He’s an enthusiastic guitarist, but he’s nowhere near the likes of the people he interviews. Surprisingly, his skills are more suited to the drums. If you need a drummer for your Beatles tribute band, look him up.